The "M Word" (Part I)

July 16^th, 2019

10:54 P.M. Phnom Penh, Cambodia

I’ve been trying to figure out how to write a post like this for a few days now. Every day in our sessions we talk about the diversity of our group, something I’m super passionate about, but we also talk about the M word, and I’ve been struggling (and still am) to figure out how I want to deal with it.

Okay. The M word. I really detest the word “missionary”. It seems ironic coming from someone that is going to be dedicating the next two years of her life to being one, but it really does bother me. The connotations that I have with the word “missionary” are white people going to a country in Africa to play with some children and post about it on their social media with complete disregard for the psychological damage they’re creating for these kids who associate missionaries with free gifts, only to continuously watch each wave of them disappear after a few weeks.

I know for some people, that last sentence was very blunt. Well, I am blunt. Sometimes to a fault. However, I understand there is a time and a place, so as for the following…

“Oh my gosh, why do we always have to talk about race?”

“For once, could we please not blame white people for everything?”

I’m not here to do that. I’m not here to tell white people about their privilege because, my gosh, it’s 2019. Wake up.

What I do want to talk about is what it means to be a missionary in the Global Mission Fellows program. I also want to talk about stereotypes about who can and who can’t be a missionary, as well as where they can serve in order to be effective. For that reason, need to talk about how our race and/or nationality affects people’s perceptions of this job.  

In my cohort, there are over 50 individuals from 26 countries.

(Countries: Brazil, Burundi, Cote d’Ivoire, United States, Kenya, Cambodia, Taiwan, Thailand, Zambia, Ukraine, DR Congo, Mexico, Ghana, South Korea, Philippines, Zimbabwe, Colombia, China, Togo, Ecuador, Nigeria, Cameroon, Indonesia, India, Honduras, and Sri Lanka.)

Part of our training is learning about how we will be stereotyped, because whether we like it or not, it will happen in our places of assignment. So for part of a session, we were asked to discuss what people think about our home countries. The trainers asked, “What stereotype do people have about you or your country? Why is it wrong? How does it make you feel?”

When I have traveled outside of the United States before, I have always been embarrassed to tell people I’m American. Without getting into politics, I never realized why I have always been embarrassed until our trainers posed this question. I’m not embarrassed to be from the United States. I’m embarrassed because people automatically stereotype me as having money.

“Oh, everyone in the United States has money. They are so rich.”

And part of this perception is from the U.S. missionaries that go to poorer (economically) countries and give money just to make themselves feel better instead of actually helping the communities they are in. But that’s a whole other topic for another blog post. (Book suggestions: When Helping Hurts by Brian Fikkert and Steve Corbett, and Toxic Charity by Robert D. Lupton)

I am so lucky to have been born in the United States, but it’s so frustrating to be looked at like a pile of money. It’s simply not true.

Then there is the opposite side of the spectrum. I had a friend share his frustrations when talking about his home country of Kenya. While his experience was the opposite of mine, he had similar feelings.

“We had a missionary from the United States come stay in our town. She stayed in a 5-star hotel with a pool, spa, and the most delicious food delivered to her room every morning. She was in the air conditioning and had maids come in to clean her room every day. But what picture did she take and post online? She took the one of the starving child on the street. And of course she had to get the picture of the child crying instead of laughing or playing. She couldn’t have taken a picture of her on the balcony at the top of this hotel surrounded by the beautiful city landscape? Kenya is not a dirt patch.”

My friend is so lucky to have been born in Kenya, but it’s so frustrating for him to be looked at like a charity case. It’s simply not true.

A missionary does not have a certain “look”. It might be difficult to switch our way of thinking, especially since the media does not help break these stereotypes at all, but it is essential to allow people to serve freely as themselves.

On the flip side of this conversation, I have a friend in my cohort going to Northern Ireland to serve for 2 years. She immediately shared, “When I told my friends, family, and people at my church that I was going to Northern Ireland, they looked at me and said, ‘Why? They don’t have problems.’”

Let me repeat this for the people in the back.

THERE ARE PROBLEMS IN EVERY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.

THERE IS A NEED IN EVERY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.

However, let’s also be clear about something else. As Fellows, our job is not to go to another country and convert people to Christianity. (I personally believe you should be whatever religion you want to be! Or none at all if that’s the life you’re living! Go you!) As Fellows, we’re not there to bring free gifts, and we’re not there to provide an unwanted service in the communities where we will be staying. These are communities that have said, “Yes, we want a Global Mission Fellow to come live here and help us with this.” 

We are to come alongside the people, not come at them with our own ideas about how to “help” make things better. We need to give the dignity back to the people that are graciously welcoming us into their countries and communities. And we need to rid ourselves of the idea about what a missionary looks like, as well as where that individual can and can’t serve.